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April 28 2015

03:48
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mugglebornandraised:

boredpanda:

Babies And Their Tattooed Parents That Look Absolutely Beautiful Together

where’s that post that is like “it confuses me when tattooed people have kids that come out blank”

03:31

Cows of Tarkir

sarpadianempiresvol-viii:

If you’ve taken a high school economics class or just hung around the Internet long enough, you have probably seen some variant of the “You have two cows” joke. It’s a brand of satire created in 1930’s Chicago that humorously oversimplified economic systems by explaining everything in terms of a farmer with two cows. For example, fascism can be explained as, “You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.” In the eighty years that the joke archetype has existed, it’s been used to explain all sorts of social phenomena. Today it’s my turn.

People often ask what the major differences are between the Khans of Tarkir clans and the Dragons of Tarkir clans. There are many changes that range from mana allegiance to species of leadership, and one could write a whole article about it. Or, one could just make “You have two cow” statements about them. Which is what I’m doing in a bit of light reading today. As a bonus, each statement will have a piece of Magic art altered by the acclaimed illustrator of Bad Draws, me.

Enjoy, folks!

Abzan

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You have two cows. You kill your enemy and adopt her orphaned cow. You summon your ancestors to help take care of it.

Jeskai

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You have two cows. You send one out on a vision quest and try to milk the other one with your mind.

Sultai

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You have two cows. You kill them for not producing enough milk. You zombify one to plow your fields and the other to be a walking couch.

Mardu

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You have two cows. You eat one and ride the other into battle, earning your war-name of Moo Jockey.

Temur

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No one owns the beasts of the earth. When you need milk, you track a herd of cows across the wilderness and only take what you need to survive.

The biggest shift between the two incarnations of the clans is that the reforged timeline has Dragons above everyone else. This provided an amusing opportunity to twist the structure of the joke in a way that certainly amuses me enough to maybe amuse you too.

Dromoka

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Two cows own you. You have to take care of them, but they give you milk in return.

Ojutai

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Two cows own you. They teach you how to moo like a cow, but not how to produce milk.

Silumgar

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Two cows own you. They force you to pamper them and kill you when you make a mistake.

Kolaghan

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Two cows run through the wilds with you, trampling whomever gets in their way.

Atarka

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Two cows make you feed them hay. When the hay runs out, they eat you instead.

A Tale of Two Cows

I hope today’s humorous article helped cure those of you who have come down with a case of the Mondays. While it’s easy to get wrapped up in the fantasy world that Magic constructs, it’s important to remember that it’s just a game and it should be fun. And even if this is just satire, sometimes pithy summaries can reveal a lot of information about what these clans believe.

Until next time, planeswalkers, may your two cows bring you prosperity.

April 16 2015

18:20
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journeytomommy:

mermaidbabe2112:

shadowulf:

theejamaicanbeauty:

mvlihv:

[x]

LMAO

Lmfaooo

Me as a future father 

Accurate

The shaytards are my favorite! If you don’t watch them on YouTube you need to

April 15 2015

17:22

April 05 2015

21:02
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f-l-e-u-r-d-e-l-y-s:

Fascinating characters by Jeff Simpson

Jeff Simpson is a 26 year-old concept artist currently living in Canada and more precisely in Montreal when he works for the prestigious studio Ubisoft. He is specialized in character and creature design. They have generally a strange and tormented aspect.  Discover more illustrations on his portfolio, his CGHub and his DeviantArt.

20:12
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astrodidact:

It just isn’t Easter without this post.

20:12
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19:04

My Parents are Dead and My Sister is Disabled

kanalashesa:

congalineofdurin:

cockismybusiness:

team—wolverine:

therealbarbielifts:

eisforedna:

On May 28th, my sister, Edna, turned 31.

image 

Her mental age is about three years old. She loves Winnie the Pooh, Beauty & the Beast, and Sesame Street. Even though the below picture is unconvincing. 

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Edna and “Cookie.” I think she was trying to play it cool. 

My name is Jeanie. I’m Edna’s younger sister. I’m also her guardian and caregiver. 

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That’s me on the left. (Hey, you never know. After a year of writing a blog about online dating - Jeanie Does the Internet - I’ve come to learn that there are A LOT of fools on the internet.) 

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ANYWAY, I’m not “doing the internet” anymore. I’m taking care of Edna full-time, after completing my MFA in Writing for Screen & Television at USC.

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May 16, 2014. I wanted a picture. Edna wanted breakfast.

In case you’re wondering where our parents are, they’re dead. Our mom died of breast cancer when she was just 33. 

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Us with mom before she died. (Obviously.)

As for our dad, he peaced-out around the time my mom got sick. His loss - we’re awesome. 

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Here we are being awesome at the beach. Pushing a wheelchair in the sand? Not so awesome. 

In case you’re wondering “What’s wrong?” with my sister - as a stranger once asked me on the street  -  NOTHING. Yes, Edna has a rare form of epilepsy - Lennox-Gastaut syndrome - but I don’t know if that’s anymore “wrong” than people who don’t have manners. 

Basically, Edna was born “normal,” and started having seizures as a baby. They eventually got so bad that they cut off the oxygen to her brain, causing her to be mentally disabled. Or impaired. Or intellectually disabled. Or whatever you want to call it - except “retarded,” because in 2010, President Obama signed Rosa’s Law into effect, replacing that word with “intellectually impaired.” 

Which is cool and all, but services for the disabled and the people who care for them are SEVERELY LACKING. Also, there’s a bunch of people working in taxpayer-funded positions who are supposed to help families like us, but don’t. (Big surprise, I know.) They just fill out paperwork (whenever they feel like it) with asinine statements like this: 

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YUP. I transport my sister down the stairs in her wheelchair, because that is not only safe, but TOTALLY PRACTICAL. Why doesn’t everyone in a wheelchair just take the stairs, for God’s sake? Stop being so lazy, PEOPLE WITHOUT WORKING LEGS! 

But, as it says above, Edna’s legs do work. Whether or not she wants them to, is another story. 

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Edna refusing to go inside. 

These are the stairs that I have to carry her up - by myself - on a daily basis. That is, until one of my legs break and both of us are just sitting at the bottom of the stairs, helpless. 

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For six months, I have begged - BEGGED - the State of California to help my sister, which they are required by law - The Lanterman Act specifically - to do so. But they’ve told me “these things take time” and that I “need to amend my expectations.” (That was said to me when I refused to place Edna at AN ALL-MALE CARE FACILITY. Because yes, that was an “option” that was offered to me.) 

Prior to Edna moving in with me in my one-bedroom apartment, she was living with her amazing caregiver, Gaby, back in Tucson, where we went to high school and I did my undergrad. Edna’s reppin’ the Wildcats below. 

image

But back in November, Gaby also died from breast cancer. (FUCK YOU, BREAST CANCER!) This picture was taken a month before she died. She never even told me she was sick because she didn’t want me to worry. 

By the way, we were raised by our grandma. Edna and her were very close.

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She’s dead, too. Surprise.

She died when I was 20 and Edna was 21. That’s when I became Edna’s legal guardian and Gaby stepped into the picture to help me out with Edna. 

So, six months ago, after Gaby died, I moved Edna to California, where I tried to get the folks over at The Frank D. Lanterman Regional Center to help me. I’ve told them I’m worried about our safety - that one of us could get hurt on the stairs -  I’ve told them I can’t afford to pay the private babysitters $15/hour because the ones social services sent me who make $9/hour were unreliable (they didn’t show up on time or at all so I could get to school and work), untrustworthy (one of them let Edna go to the bathroom in the kitchen and then took her into the bathroom because “that what I thought I was supposed to do.”) 

But the people over at the FLRC don’t return my calls, they don’t file the paperwork on time - and the first caseworker that was assigned to us actually LAUGHED AT my sister when he came to our home to evaluate her. When I reported him to his supervisor, she told me, “That’s just [insert name of said jackass].” 

He was one of the two caseworkers that contributed to the report I mentioned above, which also included this: 

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So let me get this straight - I have to feed, bathe, dress and help Edna in the bathroom and you can’t deduce whether or not she is able to vote? What in the fuck?!

Now I realize I seem angry. And you can bet your balls I am. I’m also sad. Sad for those who don’t have family to stick up from them and who waste away God knows where, monitored by no one. Or monitored by people who physically and sexually assault them

I’m also sad for the caregivers who are SO EXHAUSTED - trying to take care of their loved ones - while also trying to take care of themselves and battling a system that is supposed to help, but does nothing of the sort. And I know a lot of people give up. They let their dreams, their marriages, their friendships slide. All while trying not to resent the very person you’re doing it all for.

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Edna wanted to sit next to me the other day while I was writing. Clearly, she’s not impressed. 

Here’s the thing: I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. I’M NOT GIVING UP ON HER OR MYSELF. I’m going to pursue my dreams while taking care of her, AND while ensuring that the people paid to do their jobs ACTUALLY do them.

That’s where you come in. I need you to help me get my story out there. Because I know I’m not alone in this. I want to connect with families who are in similar situations and also show people who have no idea what it’s like to care for someone with a disability (or even a loved one who is sick) that it can be rewarding. Super fucking hard. Exhausting. Painful. Isolating. But, rewarding. 

I’m going to get help for my sister - and others. My hope is that by sharing our story, I can bring awareness to the lack of services and help for the disabled. 

Thank you, 

Jeanie 

Facebook:  facebook.com/eisforedna

Twitter: @EisforEdna 

This made me cry

SIGNAL BOOST

STOP SCROLLING. THIS PERSON ISN’T ASKING FOR MONEY AND THIS POST WON’T MAKE YOU SAD.

This is a really uplifting and inspirational story of a family sticking by each other and making things work despite a whole lot of shit

They just want to find other people in the same position they are, for a sense of community and to feel like they aren’t alone.

I know out of all of you, some of you have followers who are living with and taking care of intellectually or emotionally disabled family members, and this lovely and unbreakable pair of sisters need to find them.

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOOST

Repost! This story needs told!

April 04 2015

23:44
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satanic-capitalist:

Iceland Jails Four Top Bankers for Fraud in Landmark Case - See more at: http://bullhorn.nationofchange.org/iceland_jails_four_top_bankers_for_fraud#sthash.FlZw0MIw.dpuf


Iceland has jailed four bankers for market manipulation in a landmark case which sets a precedent for the rest of the world. The verdict relates to corruption at the Kaupthing bank, which collapsed after the financial crisis in 2008 due to fraud at the highest levels. Hreidar Mar Sigurdsson, Kaupthing’s former chief executive, former chairman Sigurdur Einarsson, former chief executive of Kaupthing Luxembourg Magnus Gudmundsson, and Olafur Olafsson, the bank’s second largest shareholder at the time, were all sentenced this month to between four and five and a half years.

23:31
23:29
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thegolemmaker:

Will Murrai Is on a league of his own, not only in the quality of his art but also in the level of his characters, his concepts and his visual story telling.

He is known for being able to produce incredibly sensual imagery, and yet he gets a gig with wizards of the coast and raises the bar by delivering character design that makes sense. his ladies are sexy when the character is sensual and freighting when they call for it. I mean when do we get to see fully armoured women that can look amazing and accomplish great feats in perfectly understandable outfits???

to me, Will Murray, is the bar!

Posted by The Golem Maker

23:21
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tearyplant:

plant blog
22:45
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